Be That Kind of Friend (by Haley)

When I was twenty-four I wanted nothing more than to get married. I had completed college, served  a mission in Uruguay, and had a great job teaching 1^st grade. I went on dates and had a good time, but still was unmarried. 

Catching the bouquet at Ashley's wedding.

That year I lived in an apartment with four other girls. We all got along great. One of my roommates was my sister, Ashley and another one was one of my co-workers. At the beginning of the semester all of us were single, hung out a lot, went on group dates, laughed together, you name it. 

Roommate date probably October 2008.

Within a few months, every single one of my roommates was engaged. Now instead of my apartment being my “happy place”, it became a place I wanted to avoid. I wasn't angry, I was so happy for them. I just felt like I had lost a sister, lost one of my best friends, and that I would be single for the rest of my life.

Marissa's wedding: May 2009

I would try to avoid the apartment. It was too difficult for me to see so many others with exactly what I wanted so badly for myself. I remember I would go on countless blind dates and go to various activities just to get away. Obviously, this was not good for me emotionally. I am not writing this to make you feel sorry for me, don't worry, the point is coming, I promise.

Murder Mystery group date

I was given visiting teachers (AKA assigned church friends). I remember the first time they came over I thought, “They are way too pretty and cool. We could never be friends outside of our visits together.” I think that they knew of my struggles and how down I was feeling. I recall a few times receiving texts from them. “Hey, a bunch of us are going bowling, wanna come?” “We're having a girls night watching chick flicks, wanna come?” I guess I felt like a project. They knew I felt lonely and it was their duty as my visiting teachers to make sure I was okay. I was too prideful. I always said that I had something else going on.

Salt Lake Temple ice sculpture

Finally it was Valentine's Day AKA Single Awareness Day. I dreaded this day the very most. I knew all of my roommates would be taking over the apartment with their significant others. I had no plans and knew I couldn't make any since I didn't have a boyfriend. I was feeling pretty depressed and sorry for myself. Naturally, my visiting teachers, saved the day and texted me: “Hey Haley! A bunch of us girls are getting together for pizza at Brick Oven. Please come. It will be fun!” I hesitated. I paused. I finally kicked my pride in the face and said, “I'll be there. What time is everyone meeting up?” 

I was so grateful for my visiting teachers that night. I had a great time and I totally forgot about how single I was. I forgot that I didn't have a significant other to share Valentine's Day with. I truly felt like they were my friends and I was so grateful for that. I wasn't their project. They didn't feel sorry for me. They wanted to be there for me and they were. That night instead of being my visiting teachers, they really became my friends. After that night we hung out a lot and became even better friends. 

Me with one of my visiting teachers on my 25th birthday.

When I was a kid we had this saying on the wall that said, “Some people come into our lives and quickly go, others stay for a while and leave footprints on our hearts and we are never the same.” To this day I have never forgotten what my visiting teachers did for me. They never gave up on me. Their kindness and thoughtfulness has caused me to want to do the same for others. I want to be that kind of friend.