Book Review: Leadership and Self-Deception (by Ashley)

My brother Derek gave me this book for Christmas. It's a great book that gives a practical view of the philosophical idea of self-deception. It's a good read for anyone who's hoping to improve themselves, which Derek & I happen to be freaks about. So, good gift-giving on your part, Derek. It's written by a bunch of Mormons ("feelings" and "impressions" aren't fooling anyone, dude. I know you're talking about following the spirit). It's told in a story format, and with businesses in mind, which might explain some of the quotes that follow.

"And through it all we think that all our problems would be solved if Jack wouldn't do this or if Linda wouldn't do that or if XYZ department would just straighten up of if the company would get a clue. But it's a lie. It's a lie even if Jack, Linda, XYZ department, and the company need to improve, which they surely do. Because when I'm blaming them, I'm not doing it because they need to improve; I'm blaming them because their shortcomings justify my failure to improve." p. 110

"Whereas before, he would go to the person he thought was causing the problem and demand the person fix it, the CEO began to consider how he himself might have contributed to the problem." p. 188

When things are going wrong, I find I blame people a lot (and if I'm smart about it I don't say those things out loud, at least). In marriage, with my kids, whatever it is. It's always a good reminder that you, yourself, are the cause of all of your problems.





This book is centered around the idea of "the box," or in other words, seeing yourself as a victim and people as objects (not as people with the hopes, fears, needs, and wants that you have).

"There's a fundamental problem with asking 'What do I need to do to get out of the box?' The problem is that anything I tell you to do can be done in or out of the box." p. 142

When you are so self-centered, your checklists are just that, checklists. "Be a good neighbor" means nothing. "Go visiting teaching" bears no fruits. You are so focused on your checklist and your time crunch that the person you are trying to help is not lifted at all. I know this so well, because I am slowly learning how to come out of it. So how do you get out of a place like this? ...


"And that Tom--acting on the sense or feeling I have recovered of what I can do to help another--is the key to staying out of the box." p. 149

Act on the feelings you have to help another person immediately (make that any person you have an impression to help). Even if it's not the relationship or problem area of your life you are trying to fix, doing things for others each time you get the idea to, makes it easier the next time. And the next and the next. Then it no longer becomes a game of "I just can't seem to remember to fix this about myself. I keep putting it on my checklist and keep forgetting!" As soon as you act on one of those impressions to change, in the very moment you get the impression, it will be easier to remember next time. And I promise, if you think you only get one small impression a day in how to change your "problem area," the second you do it more will come.

Chicken Lasagna (by Haley)

Are you getting tired of making the same thing every night for dinner??

Are you too poor to go out to eat with your friends?

Are you trying to impress your in-laws with a scrumptious meal?

Or impress that special someone?

Or are you trying to find a healthy meal to feed your growing kid?

Well, if you answered yes to any of those questions, I have a great solution for you...or at least Betty Crocker does. Last week I was getting sick of making the same meals all the time and I came across her chicken lasagna recipe online. If you are a chicken and cheese fan you will LOVE it. I only made it a few days ago and I'm ALREADY craving it again. Sorry I didn't post any pictures, but you can check it out here. It is super healthy and cheap to make. Give it a try!

Our San Diego Honeymoon on the Cheap - by Bethany

Note: If you've been following my posts for the past few weeks, you've probably noticed a pattern emerging. Free dates at home, free dates outside, and now our cheap honeymoon. Leading up to Valentine's Day, I thought it would be fun to do some romance-themed posts. These first three also happen to show how romance doesn't have to be expensive. Anyway, if you're sick of hearing about our wonderful, yet cheap, love life, you may want to skip the next few posts until after Valentine's Day. That is all:)

Like many people, we paid for our own honeymoon. Paul and I had been home from our missions for less than a year when we got married. We had been going to school, and working part-time jobs, but we didn't have much money saved up. In fact, Paul was the only one with a  little savings. So he decided to spend half of it on the ring, and the other half on the honeymoon.

I can't remember why we chose San Diego. Paul was really open to wherever I wanted to go, especially when I shot down his camping idea so quickly. I had never really camped at that point, and I certainly didn't think my honeymoon was the time to learn! We were living in Utah, so San Diego seemed exotic, without the flight being ridiculously pricey. Plus, I served the second part of my mission near there, so I felt like I had some idea of what to expect. 

Paul's grandma had offered to pay for our hotel for the first night, when we would still be in Salt Lake. Awesome wedding gift! To this day, my only regret from our honeymoon is that we chose the Anniversary Inn over the Grand America. I didn't know! I was so stupid! Someday...

But anyway, at the time, I dreamed of spending my first night in the Anniversary Inn, so I was very excited. And, we got a really expensive room - for free! We stayed in the Savannah Nights suite. Seriously, click on the link. It's cool. It has a giant fluffy king-size bed, an amazing jetted tub, and a little sitting area in a turret with lots of windows. We ate our free croissant, cinnamon roll, and yogurt parfait breakfast there the next morning. Perfect!

Our first full day as a married couple was a Sunday. So we went to church of course. It wasn't hard to find an LDS church in the area! Then we were off on our California adventure! (Am I allowed to write that without a little TM or circled R or something?) 

The #1 thing we did that made our honeymoon unique and fun (and cheap) was not renting a car. We figured out what it would cost in gas, rental fees, and parking, and decided to just take the bus. We didn't have a laptop or smartphones back then, so we tried to do all our route planning ahead of time at the computer lab on campus. It mostly worked!

Once we got to San Diego, we hauled our luggage with us through a few bus transfers before arriving at our hotel far outside of the main city. It was really pretty on the outside with lots of plants and flowers and a fountain, but just regular on the inside. We didn't care. The price was right! We ate at the Asian buffet next door before soaking in the outdoor hot tub.

The next day, we took a bus to Cabrillo National Monument. It was a bit of a hike from the bus stop, but well worth it. I can't remember if it was free back then, but now it's $3 per person. Not bad!

From the Monument, you can see the whole bay, and across to San Diego. There are also cool boats and battleships to look at.

Then we walked down to the Point Loma tide pools. We saw so many little crabs and other sea creatures, and the cliffs and waves were amazing!

Old Town San Diego was our next stop. So much free fun! We explored around, checking out gem and fossil shops (Paul was a geology major - I humored him), the Mormon Battalion Museum, the first Jewish synagogue in San Diego, and tons of other fun shops.

The food wasn't free, but we didn't eat anything extravagant. Old Town San Diego has some good Mexican food though!

After that, we went to Ocean Beach. We got off at the wrong stop and had to walk a ways, but we made it in time to wade in the water a little, and watch a beautiful, romantic sunset together. By the time we got back to the hotel, we were hungry. We didn't want to spend too much, and we had a microwave in our room, so we just went to a nearby gas station and got some junk food. Too classless for a honeymoon? We didn't think so!

The next day, we did our one activity that cost money: the Reuben H. Fleet Science Center. (Seriously, I had to make up for not giving Paul his camping honeymoon!) $13 per person, but it had tons of cool exhibits, and a motion simulator ride. Then we walked around beautiful Balboa Park. 

That evening, we strolled through the Gaslamp Quarter, full of shops, restaurants, and night clubs. We were in search of a restaurant worthy of the other half of our wedding gift from Paul's grandma: $100 cash to spend on one meal. I can't remember if that was her stipulation, or if that's what we had decided it was for, but either way, we found our place. We had Persian food by candlelight at Bandar.  The lighting and music were soft, and we ordered sparkling water, filet mignon, lamb shank, and fancy desserts. We felt a little under dressed with our traveling clothes and backpacks, but we soon forgot all about it, and enjoyed our romantic meal. It's the most expensive (yet totally free!) dinner we've ever ordered, and we still say we've never had a meal that compares.

And, the next day, we ate at a weird little Chinese-American cafe called Mr. Bon's, next door to our hotel. Haha, that's okay. We followed it up with a visit to the beautiful La Jolla shores for some wading, and then on to Mira Mesa for some nostalgia. I served part of my mission there, among the Filipino people, so there is plenty of Filipino food to be had there. Paul served his mission in the Philippines, and was dying for some authentic cuisine!  We ate fried bangus and rice with our hands, got halo-halo for dessert, and spoke Tagalog. Then we bought pandesal,  ice candy, Royal, and Sarsi to have with our movie back at the hotel. 

On Thursday, we had to get up early and head back to the airport. Our final hurrah on the public bus system. Where else can you get so much free marriage advice from crazy people, or guys who have been divorced multiple times? Once we got back to Salt Lake, we stopped at Paul's parents' house (they weren't home) to pick up wedding gifts, then got back to our apartment. For the first time, we were living together! But we didn't want the parties to be over. So we immediately got all dressed up, and went out to dinner. Ha! Way to end a cheap honeymoon!

Be Happy (by Ashley)

I've been feeling like I need to work on being happy. I wouldn’t say that I’m unhappy, necessarily, just that most days are just average. If I let my days swing one day it’s in the “bad day” category. So I would say 30% of the time I have a “bad day” and 70% of the time I allow myself to have a “blah” day.

It’s something all people have to sort through, not just stay-at-home moms who have screaming kids. This is how the majority of people live their lives, every day is just average.

I have subconsciously assigned “happy” days with activities, “fun things” that happen or we create. It’s the perfect day I’ve been concentrating so hard on. I’ve been so busy learning, trying to give meaning to everything, that my life as a whole is pretty serious.

So. Fun or happiness is not an activity. It’s a state of being.

I’ve been trying to smile more. Just the act of trying to smile more has made me realize that I don’t do it that often. I’m not talking about while I am interacting with my children, playing with them, etc., it’s easy and natural to smile then. I’m talking about while I’m doing the dishes, cleaning up the toys, wiping down a toilet. Everyone would agree those aren’t fun tasks, but that’s no reason not to smile.

I don’t think I need to ‘look for’ the joy in my life. I know exactly what I have to be happy about, it’s written all over this blog, it’s not like I don’t know what I have or I think my life is horrible. I have the “joy” part figured out, for now.

What I want to add to my life is a constant state of being happy.

Happy: feeling or showing pleasure or contentment

Joy: the emotion evoked by well-being, success, or good fortune or by the prospect of possessing what one desires

There is a time and a place for sorrow. Sin causes sorrow, trials are hard to deal with. But what should the rest of life be filled with? Happiness. God commands us to “Be happy.”

I am going to resolve to be happy. Not happiness in retrospect (“today was a good day”), not happiness in activities, but happiness in my day-to-day activities. Happiness in work. Happiness in drudgery. Happiness not as a part of each day, but as a whole. Happiness not in looking for little things, but happiness as WHO. I. AM.

I will be happy.

The Solution to Cabin Fever (by Haley)

Okay so maybe I don't live in a place where it snows, but I know many of you do! SO...

Are your kids driving you crazy because it's too cold to go outside (or you don't want to take them outside)? Have you experienced a few too many "snow days"? Do your children keep telling you they are bored? Are you going out of your mind? Well, you may have a serious case of CABIN FEVER!! 

I know, I know, these winter months can be tough. But no worries, I have a solution for you...it's called 'Candyland'. Yes, every child's dream. They will stop telling you that they are bored. 'Candyland' is fun for all ages. Better yet, here's a way to make the game educational:

Write one letter on each card included in the board game (color is irrelevant). When the child picks up the card for his/her turn, the child must say what sound the letter makes. If the child says the correct sound, he/she can move the game piece to the color the game card indicates.

If a child has a difficult time with a certain letter sound, write that letter on multiple cards. Also, if you write the letters in pencil, you can erase them later! 

This is a great way to see what your child remembers and what letters you may need to review. Your child will be entertained for hours and better yet, so will you!

FREE Dates! (Outside the Home) - by Bethany

Last week, I posted about in-house dates. I have to admit that more than half of our weekly dates fit into that category. Why? Well, three reasons: Grace, Alice, and Charlie. 

I know, they're adorable. And we can't bear to be away from them long enough to go out on a date...

Okay, obviously that's not it. It's the babysitting of course. It doesn't fit into our tiny date budget to pay someone to watch our kids. In fact, I can count on one hand the times I've paid actual money for babysitting, and I wouldn't even need all five fingers!

But we are always looking for ways to get free babysitting so we can go on out-of-the-house dates. So far, we've had some success with babysitting swaps, neighbors that live close enough to "babysit" the baby monitor, and definitely grandparent babysitters. We almost always go on a date when our parents are in town!

So, when we can work the babysitting out, the next hurdle is the cost of the actual date activity. I don't think we've ever gone out to dinner and a movie. Not once. Admittedly, when we can get free babysitting, we sometimes splurge on a date that isn't totally free, but we go on free dates most of the time. For instance:

- We like outdoor dates, when possible. We love going on walks - it is such a luxury to be able to go at our own speed and have a conversation without kids! Sometimes, we choose a neighborhood with cool, old houses to walk through. Other times, we walk on a river trail. Once, Paul planned a date where we walked all around the local golf course - it was beautiful, and we even got yelled at by one of the golfers!

- We love libraries and bookstores. It's fun to be able to spend some time at a library together and explore more than just the children's section. Sometimes, we find a cozy spot to look at magazines together. Other times, we pick out books that look interesting (with lots of pictures and quick facts) to look through together. Once, we planned a dream vacation using library materials. Another time, we went to a bookstore and read children's books together. Free fun!

- Parks are always fun. We went on a double date once where we played with boomerangs in a park. We've also flown kites at parks, played on park playgrounds, fed the ducks, explored around - and of course picnics in the park are the best!

We found this great secluded picnic area by a river - it was perfect!

- Window shopping. We're pretty good at looking without buying. I already mentioned bookstores, which are fun. We also love to walk down a nice main street and find interesting stores to explore. Housewares, design stores, kitchen supply stores, anything with showrooms, and fancy food stores are our favorites. Yes, even an upscale or foreign grocery store can be fun!

The long line was more of a deterrent than the cost:)

- Related, but deserving of their own category, are big theme stores like Cabela's and Scheels. They are so fun to explore together! There are taxidermy exhibits, live fish, photo ops, and tons of stuff to play with. I might also put IKEA in this category, just because I love the showrooms so much:)

Scheels has an awesome aquarium!

- Sunsets - You can't go wrong with a beautiful sunset. I assume sunrises are great too, but I wouldn't know:) You can't NOT feel romantic when cuddled up together watching the sun go down. Add some roasted marshmallows, and it's perfect! 

Just before sunset at an overlook.

- Free stuff around town - There is always free stuff going on. Want to go to the movies? We've gone to free movies at the library, on college campuses, or in the park. Free live music is usually easy to find too. Free art gallery strolls, free museum days, and other free performances happen all the time!

My town has LOTS of free stuff!

- Free to you - We love when we get gift cards for birthdays or Christmas, because that's an automatic free date! Even going to Costco or Target can be a fun date when you have free money to spend together on whatever you want! What other free stuff do you have available to you? When Paul was a graduate student, his student fees included a lot of campus performances. We went to a night of opera at the campus performing arts center for free!

It doesn't take money to have a fun and romantic date, as long as you're open and a little bit creative. I know I'm happy just as long as we spend time alone together building our relationship!

Keeping In Touch (by Haley)

I was born in West Virginia. When I was 12 we moved to Kentucky. When I was 15 we moved to Idaho. When I was 18 I moved to Utah. When I was 21 I moved to Uruguay. When I was 22 I moved back to Utah. When I was 27 I moved to Nevada. Needless to say, I've moved around a bit! I know what it is like to make great friends and then move away. It is tough.

I have ten siblings and we live in the following states: Idaho, West Virginia, Kansas, Ohio, Maryland, Virginia, Utah (and Nevada). I would love to drive to visit my siblings every weekend  or fly up to visit some of my old college buddies, but realistically I really can't afford it. However, I have compiled a list of ways you can stay in touch with your long distance friends at no expense! I am definitely not perfect at any of these things, but it was fun to see what I am ALREADY doing to be a good long distance buddy.

1. PHONE CALLS/TEXTS- This one is quite obvious. Who doesn't like getting a phone call or text message from a friend? This is a great way to stay up to date with each other and actually have a conversation! Sometimes it is wise to schedule a time to talk that is good for both of you so you can have adequate time to talk with each other.

2. E-MAIL- Send your friend an e-mail. Tell them about your week and what's new. If you write them, they will probably write you back.

3. CARDS- Try to send cards on your friends' birthdays and special holidays. It will make them still feel connected to you and that you are thinking about them, even though they are far away.

4. YOUTUBE- Post a fun video of what you're up to on youtube and send your friends the link.

5. BLOG- Start a personal blog of things you are doing. Invite your friends to be your followers so they can feel involved in your life.

6. ANNOUNCEMENTS- Include your friends on your "mailing list" for things such as graduations, weddings, and births. Let them share those exciting moments with you.

7. PEN PALS- Although writing letters may be a little out of date, who doesn't like getting a letter in the mail? A letter just seems more personal because it is handwritten and can be read over and over again. Plus, you had to put it in an envelope and purchase a stamp!

8. CARE PACKAGES- Send your friend a care package filled with memories, candy, and pictures. 

9. FACEBOOK- Drop your friend a line on facebook or write them a personal message. Posting old pictures are fun too (as long as they aren't embarrassing!)

10. SKYPE- If you feel really lonely for your friend, you should Skype them. Skyping is a wonderful way to feel like your friend is right there talking to you and it is totally free!

Are you doing some of the things on this list? If not, try doing one this week and see what happens!

The Art of the (FREE!) In-House Date (by Bethany)

It was easy to go on a date every week when we were newlyweds. We had to be creative to make them fit into our schedule and budget, but we made it happen. Then, we had a baby. Dates were fewer and farther between, and usually included a heavy carseat and overflowing diaper bag. Most evenings and weekends we were too tired or lazy to bother, so we would end up flipping channels, trying to find something on TV we didn't hate. It didn't take long for us to notice a difference in our relationship, and we soon recommitted to our weekly date.

The babysitting thing can be an issue, so we had to get creative. We weren't going to give up our weekly date, we just had to broaden our definition, while not losing too much of the benefit. Here's how we decided to define a date:
1. It must be planned ahead.
2. No kids allowed. (They can be in the house with you, but must be asleep, and in a different room.)
3. Movies or TV shows are only allowed if they are specifically researched and chosen ahead for a reason, and then not too often.
That's it. We took turns planning a date every week, and have been doing it this way for years.

So, after YEARS of experience, here are some in-house date ideas (all FREE, or at least very cheap!) that we have tried:

1. What art supplies do you have around the house? We have done pencil drawings together, watercolor painting, and even made a fireplace together out of construction paper - we really wanted one to hang our stockings over!

2. What games do you own, or could you borrow? We have been building up our two-player game collection for a long time. We love Scrabble, Quiddler, Qwirkle, and Monopoly Deal. We also had a date where Paul taught me how to play chess, and another one where we looked up a bunch of different games to play with face cards. It's always fun to make up our own rules for games that get old (Skip-Bo), or turn games you wouldn't think of into 2-player games - Risk is an interesting one. Another variation: we filmed ourselves playing Scrabble, and then watched it in fast motion time-lapse!

3. Holiday-related dates - When our kids were too young to care, we had a date carving pumpkins, making caramel apples, and toasting pumpkin seeds. Even now that our oldest is six, we sometimes carve a few pumpkins with the kids, then carve our own after they're in bed, when we can enjoy it together. 

Christmas is always a fun one. We had one date cutting out paper snowflakes, dancing to Christmas music, and watching a cheesy Christmas movie on Lifetime. Another time, we were spending Christmas at my parents' house. For some reason, everyone else was gone and we were at the house with our sleeping kids, so we turned off all the lights, turned on the fire and the tree, and watched Mr. Kreuger's Christmas together. It was perfect!

4. FOOD! - There is so much you can do with food on a date. After watching a lot of cake decorating shows, we decided to try making buttercream frosting and fondant for a date one night. It was a successful date, if not a successful cake.

We love cooking together any chance we get, but it usually only works after the kids are in bed. So sometimes we feed the kids early, and then cook a fun dinner together after they go to bed. Or I quickly prepare a nice candlelit meal while Paul puts the kids to bed. It's so nice to have a peaceful dinner together!

Who doesn't love the book "How Are You Peeling?" by Saxton Freymann? It certainly inspired us!

5. Crafts - One time, I went to the dollar store and bought wooden aircraft kits for us to put together.

Another time, our only option for a date was the two hours between General Conference sessions when the kids were napping. We learned how to make tissue paper flowers together.

And maybe this should've gone in the holiday category, but we did these mod podge/tissue paper/jar/Christmas lights Halloween decorations for a date one time too.

6. Kids' toys - We love to play with our kids' toys when they're asleep, because we never get to do what WE want to do with them when the kids are awake. Once we had a "be a kid again" theme date. We colored in coloring books, played with play doh, and ate corn dogs and jello jigglers. 

Another time, we used the kids' toys to make sculptures. We actually got the idea from a cub scout requirement where you have to try out different disabilities. Paul wasn't allowed to speak and I wasn't able to hear, but we made this together:

We also used the kids' toys one time to build indoor mini golf holes for each other!

And of course, there's always forts - we left this one up for the kids to play in the next morning!

7. Books and magazines - We have been gifted subscriptions to different food magazines over the years, and we love to save them to look through together, and then sometimes cook something together. 

We also had a date one time where we each chose a few books in the house that we wished we had time to read, but never had. Together, we read the first few pages of each of the books. Another time, I got a short middle school level novel from the library that we read together. It was fun!

8. The backyard - With the kids asleep, we bring the baby monitor out back with us, so we can still do some fun outdoor activities. Once, during naptime, we played in the snow together.

One evening, I came home from a church activity, and Paul had the back deck set up with romantic music and wine glasses filled with cream soda and sherbet! Another time, in a different house, I came home from sewing group and he had Christmas lights set up on the back patio, with blankets and hot chocolate. Can you tell I married a romantic?

9. Movies and TV - We like to choose movies or TV shows that the other person would particularly want to watch. I sat through a Star Trek movie for Paul, and he sat through Brigadoon for me. One time I brought home a dance instruction video for us to try. Another time, Paul did a pregnancy yoga video with me. 

10. Other ideas we've tried -

- Discussion topics - What would you do with $100 million? What do you miss from when we were dating? Tell me about your best friend in grade school. Make a list of a bunch of questions like this and get to know each other better. These have been great for long car rides, or even for a date when one of us is sick!

- Shortly after learning the gender of our baby, we had a date looking at baby names, taking baby name quizzes, and scouring our family history records for names we liked.

- Make a list of everything you want in your dream home. Use an online visualization tool like this one or this one.

- Paul is so good about knowing when I'm stressed. He uses these times to plan dates where he helps take something off my plate. One time, we had a date tying a quilt I was working on. Another time, we cut and sewed a stuffed toy for our daughter for Christmas. He even used a date to help me finish putting my mission scrapbook together!

There are so many options! Think about you and your spouse's interests and talents. Think about your resources. There is so much you can do with a camera or a computer or even a pen and paper! Make it a priority, be consistent, and PLAN AHEAD. I keep a list in the back of my planner at all times. Whenever I get an idea, I write it down, so I always have stuff to draw from. 

It was a lot of work to remember all these in-house dates, but a lot of fun too. How do you think I remembered them all? We reminisced through years of old blogs together - as a date!

Make dates happen every week with your spouse - it's worth it!

(This blog was by request from my cousin, Elaine. Tune in next Wednesday for my blog on FREE out-of-the-house dates!)

Things to love about winter (by Ashley)

Last winter was especially hard for me. It was bitter cold and seemed to drag on forever, not to mention we were living in the basement. I definitely have some of that SAD (seasonal affective disorder), so the lack of light from our little windows in the basement didn't help. I about went crazy. And I vowed never again. I cannot tell you what a difference this winter has been! The light from our big windows has helped immensely, and just noticing little things has made me happy.

I don't want to have another year where I dread the winter. So I have been working really hard to notice the day-to-day things there are to love.

Recipe here

Making comfort food
    Chicken pot pies, baked macaroni and cheese, stew and homemade bread

Winter might not be the easiest time to lose weight. But you have to admit, these foods were meant for this time of the year. The true measure of their homey-ness can only be felt during the coldest months.

Hibernating

This year with the addition of our new baby it very much feels like we are hibernating. Our children are slowly growing and in the springtime they will burst forth as something new. It is so fun to watch life from our front window as it passes by. Things are slower in these months. We can savor our relationships with each other through conversation, and not so much through activities, which is what fills up the warmer times.

Snow

It is absolutely beautiful, like poetry in motion to watch it fall. I have really been struck by it, living upstairs. I never knew beforehand how lucky we are to admire such a beautiful phenomena.

No commitments 

This could very well be the last winter where we don't have to be somewhere most mornings. This intensifies my love of falling snow, knowing I don't have to drive in it. Although we live in the middle of a city, it's almost like we live in a cabin in the woods, where our whole world is just each other.

Building fires

Speaking of that romantic cabin in the woods, nothing spells ambiance like rustic logs and reaching flames. One of the selling points on this house was the wide open fireplace, something I have always wished for. I love using historical things for their intended purposes, and I can't help but think of  our ancestors, where the hearth was the meeting place of the home, and not the t.v.

Pinecones

Nature is so beautiful, isn't it? I love decorating with natural things (or faux-natural things, I do subscribe to the 21st century), because nothing can really copy these masterpieces of God. Pine needles, pinecones, tree branches, these are the things that hide in the shadows when the showy leaves and flowers appear. But when their season is over, the beauty of these "leftovers" really shine. How amazing is the workmanship of God! Even the structures that hold his beautiful creations are, in themselves, works of beauty!

Winter Solstice

I got Cheyenne a book this year about the winter solstice. Despite my fear of winter and dark days, she seems to have some fascination with it. The book was quite enlightening (ha) and actually gave me another thing to be glad about these winter months. The winter solstice happens on December 21st, which is the shortest day of the year, with the least amount of light. Every day the light lasts a little longer until the summer solstice. So there's a reason to celebrate each day: tomorrow will be filled with more light.

Cut flowers

This might seem contradictory, but this is definitely a benefit of our modern age. I love having cut flowers in the house as a reminder of this cycle we are in, that winter doesn't last forever. The sun still warms the earth and these beautiful things are waiting for their time to bloom, when they will have the greatest chance at success.

Winter is usually the time I reflect on this greater cycle our whole lives are a part of. A cycle of birth and death, rebirth and death again. A cycle of sinning and being forgiven, of repenting and sinning again. A cycle of waiting for the sun in full splendor, only to realize it comes more and more each day. A cycle of wanting the fruits of summer already, only to realize we are slowly growing and will bloom when we have the greatest chance at success.

I want to see those sweet fruits of success. May I learn to love the winters of my life.