Keeping In Touch (by Haley)

I was born in West Virginia. When I was 12 we moved to Kentucky. When I was 15 we moved to Idaho. When I was 18 I moved to Utah. When I was 21 I moved to Uruguay. When I was 22 I moved back to Utah. When I was 27 I moved to Nevada. Needless to say, I've moved around a bit! I know what it is like to make great friends and then move away. It is tough.

I have ten siblings and we live in the following states: Idaho, West Virginia, Kansas, Ohio, Maryland, Virginia, Utah (and Nevada). I would love to drive to visit my siblings every weekend  or fly up to visit some of my old college buddies, but realistically I really can't afford it. However, I have compiled a list of ways you can stay in touch with your long distance friends at no expense! I am definitely not perfect at any of these things, but it was fun to see what I am ALREADY doing to be a good long distance buddy.

1. PHONE CALLS/TEXTS- This one is quite obvious. Who doesn't like getting a phone call or text message from a friend? This is a great way to stay up to date with each other and actually have a conversation! Sometimes it is wise to schedule a time to talk that is good for both of you so you can have adequate time to talk with each other.

2. E-MAIL- Send your friend an e-mail. Tell them about your week and what's new. If you write them, they will probably write you back.

3. CARDS- Try to send cards on your friends' birthdays and special holidays. It will make them still feel connected to you and that you are thinking about them, even though they are far away.

4. YOUTUBE- Post a fun video of what you're up to on youtube and send your friends the link.

5. BLOG- Start a personal blog of things you are doing. Invite your friends to be your followers so they can feel involved in your life.

6. ANNOUNCEMENTS- Include your friends on your "mailing list" for things such as graduations, weddings, and births. Let them share those exciting moments with you.

7. PEN PALS- Although writing letters may be a little out of date, who doesn't like getting a letter in the mail? A letter just seems more personal because it is handwritten and can be read over and over again. Plus, you had to put it in an envelope and purchase a stamp!

8. CARE PACKAGES- Send your friend a care package filled with memories, candy, and pictures. 

9. FACEBOOK- Drop your friend a line on facebook or write them a personal message. Posting old pictures are fun too (as long as they aren't embarrassing!)

10. SKYPE- If you feel really lonely for your friend, you should Skype them. Skyping is a wonderful way to feel like your friend is right there talking to you and it is totally free!

Are you doing some of the things on this list? If not, try doing one this week and see what happens!

The Art of the (FREE!) In-House Date (by Bethany)

It was easy to go on a date every week when we were newlyweds. We had to be creative to make them fit into our schedule and budget, but we made it happen. Then, we had a baby. Dates were fewer and farther between, and usually included a heavy carseat and overflowing diaper bag. Most evenings and weekends we were too tired or lazy to bother, so we would end up flipping channels, trying to find something on TV we didn't hate. It didn't take long for us to notice a difference in our relationship, and we soon recommitted to our weekly date.

The babysitting thing can be an issue, so we had to get creative. We weren't going to give up our weekly date, we just had to broaden our definition, while not losing too much of the benefit. Here's how we decided to define a date:
1. It must be planned ahead.
2. No kids allowed. (They can be in the house with you, but must be asleep, and in a different room.)
3. Movies or TV shows are only allowed if they are specifically researched and chosen ahead for a reason, and then not too often.
That's it. We took turns planning a date every week, and have been doing it this way for years.

So, after YEARS of experience, here are some in-house date ideas (all FREE, or at least very cheap!) that we have tried:

1. What art supplies do you have around the house? We have done pencil drawings together, watercolor painting, and even made a fireplace together out of construction paper - we really wanted one to hang our stockings over!

2. What games do you own, or could you borrow? We have been building up our two-player game collection for a long time. We love Scrabble, Quiddler, Qwirkle, and Monopoly Deal. We also had a date where Paul taught me how to play chess, and another one where we looked up a bunch of different games to play with face cards. It's always fun to make up our own rules for games that get old (Skip-Bo), or turn games you wouldn't think of into 2-player games - Risk is an interesting one. Another variation: we filmed ourselves playing Scrabble, and then watched it in fast motion time-lapse!

3. Holiday-related dates - When our kids were too young to care, we had a date carving pumpkins, making caramel apples, and toasting pumpkin seeds. Even now that our oldest is six, we sometimes carve a few pumpkins with the kids, then carve our own after they're in bed, when we can enjoy it together. 

Christmas is always a fun one. We had one date cutting out paper snowflakes, dancing to Christmas music, and watching a cheesy Christmas movie on Lifetime. Another time, we were spending Christmas at my parents' house. For some reason, everyone else was gone and we were at the house with our sleeping kids, so we turned off all the lights, turned on the fire and the tree, and watched Mr. Kreuger's Christmas together. It was perfect!

4. FOOD! - There is so much you can do with food on a date. After watching a lot of cake decorating shows, we decided to try making buttercream frosting and fondant for a date one night. It was a successful date, if not a successful cake.

We love cooking together any chance we get, but it usually only works after the kids are in bed. So sometimes we feed the kids early, and then cook a fun dinner together after they go to bed. Or I quickly prepare a nice candlelit meal while Paul puts the kids to bed. It's so nice to have a peaceful dinner together!

Who doesn't love the book "How Are You Peeling?" by Saxton Freymann? It certainly inspired us!

5. Crafts - One time, I went to the dollar store and bought wooden aircraft kits for us to put together.

Another time, our only option for a date was the two hours between General Conference sessions when the kids were napping. We learned how to make tissue paper flowers together.

And maybe this should've gone in the holiday category, but we did these mod podge/tissue paper/jar/Christmas lights Halloween decorations for a date one time too.

6. Kids' toys - We love to play with our kids' toys when they're asleep, because we never get to do what WE want to do with them when the kids are awake. Once we had a "be a kid again" theme date. We colored in coloring books, played with play doh, and ate corn dogs and jello jigglers. 

Another time, we used the kids' toys to make sculptures. We actually got the idea from a cub scout requirement where you have to try out different disabilities. Paul wasn't allowed to speak and I wasn't able to hear, but we made this together:

We also used the kids' toys one time to build indoor mini golf holes for each other!

And of course, there's always forts - we left this one up for the kids to play in the next morning!

7. Books and magazines - We have been gifted subscriptions to different food magazines over the years, and we love to save them to look through together, and then sometimes cook something together. 

We also had a date one time where we each chose a few books in the house that we wished we had time to read, but never had. Together, we read the first few pages of each of the books. Another time, I got a short middle school level novel from the library that we read together. It was fun!

8. The backyard - With the kids asleep, we bring the baby monitor out back with us, so we can still do some fun outdoor activities. Once, during naptime, we played in the snow together.

One evening, I came home from a church activity, and Paul had the back deck set up with romantic music and wine glasses filled with cream soda and sherbet! Another time, in a different house, I came home from sewing group and he had Christmas lights set up on the back patio, with blankets and hot chocolate. Can you tell I married a romantic?

9. Movies and TV - We like to choose movies or TV shows that the other person would particularly want to watch. I sat through a Star Trek movie for Paul, and he sat through Brigadoon for me. One time I brought home a dance instruction video for us to try. Another time, Paul did a pregnancy yoga video with me. 

10. Other ideas we've tried -

- Discussion topics - What would you do with $100 million? What do you miss from when we were dating? Tell me about your best friend in grade school. Make a list of a bunch of questions like this and get to know each other better. These have been great for long car rides, or even for a date when one of us is sick!

- Shortly after learning the gender of our baby, we had a date looking at baby names, taking baby name quizzes, and scouring our family history records for names we liked.

- Make a list of everything you want in your dream home. Use an online visualization tool like this one or this one.

- Paul is so good about knowing when I'm stressed. He uses these times to plan dates where he helps take something off my plate. One time, we had a date tying a quilt I was working on. Another time, we cut and sewed a stuffed toy for our daughter for Christmas. He even used a date to help me finish putting my mission scrapbook together!

There are so many options! Think about you and your spouse's interests and talents. Think about your resources. There is so much you can do with a camera or a computer or even a pen and paper! Make it a priority, be consistent, and PLAN AHEAD. I keep a list in the back of my planner at all times. Whenever I get an idea, I write it down, so I always have stuff to draw from. 

It was a lot of work to remember all these in-house dates, but a lot of fun too. How do you think I remembered them all? We reminisced through years of old blogs together - as a date!

Make dates happen every week with your spouse - it's worth it!

(This blog was by request from my cousin, Elaine. Tune in next Wednesday for my blog on FREE out-of-the-house dates!)

Things to love about winter (by Ashley)

Last winter was especially hard for me. It was bitter cold and seemed to drag on forever, not to mention we were living in the basement. I definitely have some of that SAD (seasonal affective disorder), so the lack of light from our little windows in the basement didn't help. I about went crazy. And I vowed never again. I cannot tell you what a difference this winter has been! The light from our big windows has helped immensely, and just noticing little things has made me happy.

I don't want to have another year where I dread the winter. So I have been working really hard to notice the day-to-day things there are to love.

Recipe here

Making comfort food
    Chicken pot pies, baked macaroni and cheese, stew and homemade bread

Winter might not be the easiest time to lose weight. But you have to admit, these foods were meant for this time of the year. The true measure of their homey-ness can only be felt during the coldest months.

Hibernating

This year with the addition of our new baby it very much feels like we are hibernating. Our children are slowly growing and in the springtime they will burst forth as something new. It is so fun to watch life from our front window as it passes by. Things are slower in these months. We can savor our relationships with each other through conversation, and not so much through activities, which is what fills up the warmer times.

Snow

It is absolutely beautiful, like poetry in motion to watch it fall. I have really been struck by it, living upstairs. I never knew beforehand how lucky we are to admire such a beautiful phenomena.

No commitments 

This could very well be the last winter where we don't have to be somewhere most mornings. This intensifies my love of falling snow, knowing I don't have to drive in it. Although we live in the middle of a city, it's almost like we live in a cabin in the woods, where our whole world is just each other.

Building fires

Speaking of that romantic cabin in the woods, nothing spells ambiance like rustic logs and reaching flames. One of the selling points on this house was the wide open fireplace, something I have always wished for. I love using historical things for their intended purposes, and I can't help but think of  our ancestors, where the hearth was the meeting place of the home, and not the t.v.

Pinecones

Nature is so beautiful, isn't it? I love decorating with natural things (or faux-natural things, I do subscribe to the 21st century), because nothing can really copy these masterpieces of God. Pine needles, pinecones, tree branches, these are the things that hide in the shadows when the showy leaves and flowers appear. But when their season is over, the beauty of these "leftovers" really shine. How amazing is the workmanship of God! Even the structures that hold his beautiful creations are, in themselves, works of beauty!

Winter Solstice

I got Cheyenne a book this year about the winter solstice. Despite my fear of winter and dark days, she seems to have some fascination with it. The book was quite enlightening (ha) and actually gave me another thing to be glad about these winter months. The winter solstice happens on December 21st, which is the shortest day of the year, with the least amount of light. Every day the light lasts a little longer until the summer solstice. So there's a reason to celebrate each day: tomorrow will be filled with more light.

Cut flowers

This might seem contradictory, but this is definitely a benefit of our modern age. I love having cut flowers in the house as a reminder of this cycle we are in, that winter doesn't last forever. The sun still warms the earth and these beautiful things are waiting for their time to bloom, when they will have the greatest chance at success.

Winter is usually the time I reflect on this greater cycle our whole lives are a part of. A cycle of birth and death, rebirth and death again. A cycle of sinning and being forgiven, of repenting and sinning again. A cycle of waiting for the sun in full splendor, only to realize it comes more and more each day. A cycle of wanting the fruits of summer already, only to realize we are slowly growing and will bloom when we have the greatest chance at success.

I want to see those sweet fruits of success. May I learn to love the winters of my life.

Thimble (by Haley)

One of my all time favorite games is the game Thimble. Since I was taught how to play this game at a young age, it's been my favorite for a while. What has surprised me throughout my life is how many people have never heard of this game or know how to play it. This game is perfect for a family night, a game night with friends, or even on a group date in order to break the ice. You may not know this about me, but before I decided to be a stay-at-home mom, I taught elementary school for five years. So I know for a fact that even little kids like this game!

Things you need for this game: a glass of water, a thimble, paper, and pencil.

1. Have everyone get in a circle. Invite one person to be 'it'. Have the person that is it choose a category and announce it to the group. For example they might choose: months of the year or candy bars or Disney cartoons.

2. The person who is it then chooses something out of the category chosen and writes it on the paper so no one else can see it. For example, if the category chosen was months of the year, they might write down June. 

3. Each person in the group must also think of something that goes in the category, without telling anyone. The object of the game is to not say the word that the person who is it has written down on the piece of paper.

4. The person who is it then fills the thimble with water by dipping it in the glass of water and then walks around the circle. When the person who is it approaches each person in the circle, they must say the word they chose from they category. No repeats allowed, so if someone else says your word before you, you must choose a different one!

5. When someone in the group says the word that is written on the paper, the thimble of water is poured on them. Then that person gets to be 'it' and have a turn.

6. You don't really keep score for this game, it's just fun. Also, if you end up going around the circle more than twice, you may want to choose a different category with less options.

You can thank me later!

The Dreaded Cub Scout Calling (by Bethany)

A few years ago, we were living in a tiny town in New Mexico while Paul attended grad school. (Who knew that’s where they hide one of the top hydrology programs in the nation?) We loved our little town and our close-knit church congregation and our callings in the primary and Elder’s quorum presidencies, but it wasn’t long before the Lord decided to shake things up.

Out of the blue, Paul and I were called as leaders of the local LDS cub scout pack over the 8- and 9-year-old boys. I knew when I married a hard-core boy scout that he would probably have a lot of scout callings, but I never thought I’d have to do it too!  We were told that it was an important calling. We were supposed to be consistent, build up the pack, and use the scouting program for missionary work. I was pretty nervous about it, since I knew nothing about cub scouts or little boys, but Paul and I were excited for the chance to serve together!

We started with just one boy from the ward, then another turned eight and we had two, but neither of them came every single week. We were somewhat discouraged, as we put a lot of effort into planning lessons and activities every week, and we had to bring our young daughter in her pajamas to the Thursday night meetings. I was tired and pregnant, and barely fit into my new scout shirt. We felt like our time and energy were being wasted on just one or two boys. Two rounds of recruitment yielded no improvement.

But we did not give up. We prayed in nearly every prayer for the Lord to help us grow the pack. We never got lazy in planning the Thursday night meetings, and we invited anyone we could think of to join. We talked to new neighbors, boys that we’d see around town, and the bishop helped us by encouraging the less active members with sons of cub scout age.

One day, Paul went to get the car repaired. As the receptionist gave him a ride home, Paul found out that she had two sons old enough for cub scouts. They started coming faithfully, and were our first non-LDS recruits.

We continued to pray for more boys and to open our mouths. Another LDS  boy turned 8 and joined the pack. A new family moved into the ward with a 9-year-old boy. The bishop’s prodding of a less active family gained us two more unbaptized cubs. Things were getting exciting - we were finally able to plan group activities as they were intended!

As the year went on, word spread around the schools through the boys and their parents. A Muslim boy joined on the day of our cub scout cookout, and was happy to see we had all-beef hot dogs! The bishop’s son turned 8, and two more nonmembers joined the pack. Another boy with a less active father was convinced by the bishop to give cub scouts a try. His mother was soon baptized.

Things were growing so fast we could hardly keep up! Another two nonmembers joined the pack, one the brother of another of our cubs. During this time, Paul and I were having a family taught in our home by the missionaries. Their 9-year-old son started attending cub scouts. Soon he and his father were baptized.

The pack was huge, and the boys were actually achieving things. We had boys earning wolf badges, bear badges, arrow heads, and belt loops right and left. Best of all, one of the sons of the receptionist at the car place ended up receiving his Arrow of Light. He graduated up into Boy Scouts!

Another less active family showed up at cub scouts one night. The twin boys were actually too young to join, but we invited them to participate anyway. They came every week, and began coming to church. Even the Christian Scientist mother came to church once or twice, and the daughter sometimes attended Young Women activities.  

We tried to find ways to use our calling for missionary work. We knew it was good just to get nonmembers into the church building to feel the spirit of it every Thursday night, but we wanted to do more than that. We told the boys they could pray however they wanted, but if they didn’t have a preference, we taught them the LDS way. Even the Muslim and many of the Catholics prayed vocally this way. We made sure nonmembers knew when their LDS pack members were being baptized, and we often invited them to ward activities. A few showed up to the ward Halloween party.

We also tried to be a presence in the community. We went out on field trips in uniform so people could see our pack and want to join. We went to the city newspaper office, the university mineral museum, the campus police station, and even the locally-owned grocery store. We also marched with our float in the county fair parade, passing out flyers to invite more boys to join. After that, our pack was invited to participate in the town Sept. 11th commemoration, handing out pins to the first responders!

Four more boys joined after that. Not all of our boys came every week, but we usually had about ten or eleven on any given week. About three-quarters of our boys were not LDS. When Paul graduated and we moved away, we reluctantly handed our calling over to our FIVE replacements.

When we were given the dreaded cub scout calling, we had a pack of one boy. When we left two years later, we had eighteen. Yes, we worked hard every week to prepare for Thursday evenings. Yes, the bishop and others helped to spread the word about cub scouts. And yes, we prayed very hard for the Lord to help us grow our pack. In the end, we know that it was the Lord who blessed us with these boys, and with the opportunity to learn and grow from this experience. Maybe cub scouts isn’t so bad after all!

Grace with her Pinewood Derby car:)

Resolutions (by Ashley)

Last year I wanted to lose weight, save pennies, and teach my children. I guess you could say I didn't accomplish those goals. But I don't think there's any reason to wallow in despair because you weren't able to accomplish what you set out to accomplish. On the contrary, I had a baby, frugally bought clothes for said baby, and made great strides being a part of my children's world. Those are definitely great accomplishments, and all headed in the right direction. I am happy I am growing, in any way it manifests itself.

Just because I didn't accomplish what I set out to accomplish doesn't mean there is no purpose in making resolutions. Any effort me make to change is recognized by God. We can become instruments in His hands simply by showing we are willing.

When it comes to progress, I like to mix things up. Sometimes changing the process is enough to motivate you. This year Ben will be heading up the penny-saving department. For my weight loss I'm not taking "no" for an answer, so that's not going to be showing up on any list, it's just something I am going to make happen. And this year to teach my children I want to focus on scripture stories, so that when a teaching moment arises I can pull something from memory and not let those times slip away.

Habits to start for 2014

1. Teach my children the scripture stories. Told from their own mother's mouth and memories.
2. End each day journaling about an experience that particularly touched me or taught me something.
3. Attend the temple weekly

This last goal I am quite nervous about-- it's something I've been feeling prompted I should do for some time, yet I've always shrugged it off as too much for our young family. But I believe in a God of miracles, and I believe that when we do what He asks us to do he provides a way.

"The Future is as Bright as Your Faith" (by Haley)

Throughout life we all get those little pick-me-ups that get us through dark times or particularly hard moments. Maybe your pick-me-up is a special song or something chocolate or a book or a certain friend. For me it is a quote from our current prophet, President Thomas S. Monson. I guess the reason I like this particular quote so much is because it applies to life at any stage you may be in. He says: 

I testify to you that our promised blessings are beyond measure. Though

 the storm clouds may gather, though the rains may pour down upon us,

our knowledge of the gospel and our love of our Heavenly Father and of 

our Savior will comfort and sustain us and bring joy to our hearts as we walk

uprightly and keep the commandments. 

I love this part of the quote because he explains hard times in such a vivid way to me. I hate getting my hair and clothes wet in the rain. When He mentions that the Savior will comfort us, I invision His bright warm sunshine comforting me from the cold rain. But this is my very favorite part of his quote:

There will be nothing in this world that can defeat us. My beloved 

brothers and sisters, fear not. Be of good cheer. The future is as

bright as your faith.

-"Be of Good Cheer", April 2009 General Conference

I love that last part. The future is as bright as your faith. It is up to us. With strong faith you never need to worry or fear about life. That's what the gospel is all about. Listen to the words of Elder Jeffrey R. Holland in the following video:

Elder Holland says, "There is help and happiness ahead.Some blessings come soon. Some come late and some don't come until heaven, but for those who embrace the gospel of Jesus Christ, they come. It will be alright in the end." Your future is as bright as your faith.